As we talked a little, I made sure he knew I loved him. Once I calmed myself down, I went to him and told him I needed to talk with his dad about the discipline. You know you’ve felt the same.) Because I was angry, I was in no state-of-mind to discipline properly. I felt like there was steam coming out of my ears, and I’m sure my face was red! I wanted to punish him. It was so much easier!) This week, however, I had a chance to practice some fairly serious discipline with one of my children.Īt first, I was so angry that I had to just send him to his room.
They’re both in double-digits now, and squeezing hands isn’t the best option anymore. My children have grown since the electrical outlet incident. Discipline is something we do carefully and purposefully because we love our children. There’s no love in pampering them, in hiding their sins and failures from them, in allowing them reckless “freedom” that ultimately enslaves them to their own desires. In Intentional Parenting, we teach our children in advance, but we also watch for opportunities to correct through discipline. Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Parental discipline is about my child’s physical well-being and spiritual growth. Parental punishment is about me: my anger, my needs, my embarrassment, my convenience, my sense of entitlement or frustration with the situation. This is the difference between punishment and discipline. Because she irritated, interrupted, or embarrassed me.I wanted her to begin practicing self-control.I loved her (still do) and didn’t want her to be seriously injured.I might not be watching so closely next time. I wanted to protect her in the future.(The form of discipline matched her maturity level.) I knew she was capable of understanding it.Why did I hurt her when she was so young? The discipline was immediate and tangible because her brain wouldn’t have processed anything else.
It was an action/reaction concept: if I put my fingers here, then I hurt. I disciplined her in the only way her young mind could understand. Parental discipline is like a vaccine: a little pain now to prevent a lot of pain later. I thought of it like a vaccine: a little pain now to prevent a lot of pain later. Yes, I hurt her just a little bit, but way less than if she’d been electrocuted. If I remember correctly, I only had to do this twice before she learned not to put her fingers in electrical outlets. I looked her in the eye, and while squeezing her little hand just until I could see that it was hurting her, I said “no” in my most serious voice. Of course, we had covers on our own outlets!) I grabbed her hand immediately. When my firstborn was toddling around-less than a year old-she once stuck her finger in an unguarded electrical outlet.
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